Tag Archive for 'humor'
There’s a parable here.
And like all good parables, there’s probably a number of applications in your own context!
Pastor Don Mackenzie, Rabbi Ted Falcon, and Sheikh Jamal Rahman are authors of Getting to the Heart of Interfaith: The Eye-Opening, Hope-Filled Friendship of a Pastor, a Rabbi & a Sheikh
The above made me laugh. OK, I’ve got about 75,000 people following me on Twitter, and I appear to be the second most followed person in my country – but, let’s not take it too, too seriously 
Then, after a little poking around I found:
But, having seen the above two clips, I found they are parodies of an actual forthcoming movie about facebook (Yes, there’s a smaller liturgy presence on facebook):
OK I’ve got to have some excuse to embed this video. I know: it is part of our mission “to strive to safeguard the integrity of creation, sustaining and renewing the earth.”
Previously I had a fund-raising appeal amongst followers of this site so that I might purchase the ideal home for a liturgist. Now I’ve seen the ideal thing to wear around that house! So I’m on a fund-raising appeal yet again – I promise you this piece of vesture, is, as those into this sort of thing say, “to die for”! For those types – watch and drool:
Nope – not a historical movie; not even a spoof; not even photoshopped or digitally enhanced by Weta Workshop! This was the Pontifical Solemn High Mass in Washington DC. April 24, 2010.
It’s one of the strongest visual arguments anyone can see against women priests and bishops: why would women want to dress up as men like that?!
There’s another view of the this by Cleansing Fire:
Notice how the people are reverently preparing to celebrate the Eucharist. There certainly isn’t a disproportionate focus on the presider… ummmm… So much so that the anonymous (?) defender “of Truth and Tradition in the Lay-run Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester” who was present cannot even remember or find out the name of the bishop actually wearing the capa magna.
In case you wonder about the liturgical meaning of the capa magna, here’s an explanation – no seriously! This is an allegorical explanation of the symbolism, and regulars here will know how much I love allegorical interpretations of symbolism [For those newer here - hint: NOT! Symbolism IMO should be/is fairly self-explanatory, otherwise it is not a symbol but a sign. My comments in matching maroon italics]:
The capa magna does indeed represent the finery of the world, its power and prestige. That is why after his entrance wearing it, the prelate is publicly stripped of this finery and humbled before the congregation. Then, vestment by vestment, the bishop is clothed in the new man of which St Paul speaks, including the baptismal alb, the dalmatic of charity, the stole of pardon [sic] and the chasuble of mercy [ah - the chasuble of mercy - I'd been wondering all this time what the chasuble actually "meant" - and of course, I love the Russian doll system of wearing the chasuble over the dalmatic - don't let on that historically it's essentially the same garment, that would spoil the "symbolism"]. When finally clothed in Christ, the prelate makes a second entrance into the church to begin the eucharistic celebration in persona Christi, the visible head of the body, the church.
It was a clear statement that the power and prestige of the world have no place at the altar, but it is expressed in a liturgical ritual or symbol, which, unfortunately, are often lacking in the contemporary rites and thus hard to grasp.
Unfortunately no one told this prelate that the whole point of wearing the capa magna is the stripping off! He’s still wearing it at the end of the Eucharist!
Even the source of our second clip, Cleansing Fire, hasn’t been properly educated in the allegorical meaning of the capa magna and is confused enough to suggest that “things like this cappa magna lend an air of majesty to church.”
So – I’m receiving donations for my capa magna now. Those who donate will be allowed to wear it for a bit when they come to dinner in my house in Hobart.
ps. did I tell you I’ve been reading quite a lot on St Francis of Assisi lately… fascinating…
Bosco & Katharine Jefferts Schori
I was able to be present when Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori was welcomed at a Powhiri at Te Hui Amorangi O Te Waipounamu hosted by Bishop John Gray. This was followed by a wonderful meal. [photo: Alistair Kinniburgh]
Presiding Bishop Katharine went on to the historic St Michael and All Angels (the pro-cathedral before the cathedral was built) and preached there for Evensong. She wore her mitre. The New Zealand Film Commission has bought the rites rights to the movie Mitregate 3D. Peter Jackson is rumoured to be interested in directing. Weta Workshop will provide the mitres and other required liturgical millinarian accoutrements. Naomi Watts has already indicated she is interested in playing Presiding Bishop Katharine. Richard Harris, will, of course, play the Archbishop of Canterbury, but if he is not available Peter Jackson may bring back King Kong himself to once again act opposite Naomi Watts.
Mitregate was first prophesied by Bishop David Anderson. In his weekly message to Anglican Mainstream, on June 11, he devoted more than two thirds of his text to clergy vesture and other accoutrements (he will be sought out as an adviser for Weta Workshop to make sure all is kosher orthodox). One third of his message was expressing concern that his regular supplier for over 40 years of the Pontiff (sic!) 3 Acetate collar “has either gone out of business or stopped making them”. He will let avid followers of Anglican Mainstream know if he finds an alternative supplier. More than a third of his message is concerned that Presiding Bishop Katharine should not wear a mitre when in England. A week later Bishop David is horrified that Presiding Bishop Katharine didn’t go out and purchase a new black shirt, “If you look closely, you also see a red-purple bishop’s shirt under the overvestment (sic.).”
Above: Presiding Bishop Katharine at Salisbury (England) pre-mitregate
Above: Presiding Bishop Katharine in Southwark cathedral June 13 complying with the Archbishop of Canterbury’s requirement to not wear a mitre. “It is bizarre; it is beyond bizarre.”
Apparently under the Overseas Clergy Act (remember that the Church of England is a State Church, the Archbishop of Canterbury is a state appointment), Presiding Bishop Katharine was allowed to function as a priest but not as a bishop. This, while there is no Anglican certainty that a bishop is still a priest (until further discussion I continue to hold that a bishop is not a priest, a priest is not a deacon, etc).
St Paul also wrote about this controversy relatively recently, and the departure of the Archbishop of Canterbury from Bible-believing Christianity: “Any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head – it is one and the same thing as having her head shaved. For if a woman will not cover her head, then she should cut off her hair; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or to be shaved, she should cover her head. For this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.” (1 Cor 11)
Bishops Katharine Jefferts Schori & John Gray
Above: At St Michael and All Angels “For this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.” (1 Cor 11:10) [photo: Alistair Kinniburgh]
Mitregate – the official trailer of the movie!
Anglican cap tip to Significant truths
Powhiri – a welcome ceremony
Te Waipounamu – South Island of New Zealand
More on the welcome at Te Waipounamu
The sermon preached at St Michael and all Angels
More millinarianism
Daughter of Mitregate – the sequel
Bishops Mary Grey-Reeves, Michael Perham, & Gerard Mpango
Above: following Mitregate, on June 20, Bishop Mary Grey-Reeves, Bishop of El Camino Real, presided at the eucharist (head covered) in Gloucester Cathedral. The Bishop of Gloucester, Michael Perham, is a noted liturgical scholar. Bishop Mary Grey-Reeves is being approached to see if she will play herself in the sequel. The Wachowskis are interested in doing the sequel if it can be filmed in Sydney and include a car chase and a bullet time sequence of Bishop Mary Grey-Reeves putting her mitre on. Archbishop Peter Jensen is being approached to play Bishop Michael Perham. He may be predestined for this part.
UPDATE (June 29): A significant Naomi Watts site has taken up the story.
Fr Tim Schenck has done rigorous research by getting ideas from all his facebook friends and combining these into the model sermon for Trinity Sunday. He notes, “that the key to good preaching on Trinity Sunday is linguistic sleight of hand. If you distract the congregation enough with props they won’t pay attention to the heresy you’re undoubtedly spewing. This lowers the potential of being reported to the bishop.”
It is likely that on Sunday you heard (or yourself said) some variant on:
Trinity Sunday Sermon
“The New Paradigm of Homoousious”
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. (And I really mean it this time).
The Trinity [three intertwined circles appear on a giant projection screen]. It’s a confusing topic; one that I am not qualified to speak about because I failed the systematic theology portion of the General Ordination Exam. [Three circles morph into a green three-leaf clover] St. Patrick converted the King of Ireland to the Christian faith by using the clover [use awkward hand gesture to point to the screen]. As he held up the clover he enumerated (or is that renumerated?) about the Trinity telling the king that…[choir sings St. Patrick's Breastplate to drown out the next few phrases. Twelve minutes later when the hymn ends and everyone has processed around the church nine times, the preacher continues].
The interplay between the Persons of the Trinity is like a dance. But not just any dance — a perichoretic dance of love. I once danced this way at a wedding of a good friend. My date left with a groomsman while I was doing my interpretive dance of the Trinity. It was at that moment that I decided to go to seminary.
But I digress. Where was I? Oh, the interpenetration of modality. Which sounds vaguely obscene until you remember that God loves you. Like a fox. But in a co-eternal, co-equal, co-habitating kind of way.
Did I mention I used to be a horrible acolyte back in the day? [After laughing at his own joke, preacher picks up three tapers and attempts to bring them together and then pull them apart. Unfortunately he lights the pulpit hanging on fire and puts them out with the three glasses of water he brought up to supplement the fire illustration in case it fell flat. He recovers by singing an a capella version of "Holy, Holy, Holy," dramatically miming the line "Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea."]
In sum, we are all called to a hermeneutic of being immortal and invisible while still being led by faith and not by sight. Let me end by quoting from the well-loved Athanasian Creed; so beloved in church lore that it’s relegated to page 846 of the Book of Common Prayer. In the “Historical Documents” section that you may have covertly perused earlier in the sermon. “Blah, blah, blah Unity, blah, blah, blah Godhead, blah, blah, blah Essence.”
Amen.
More from Fr Tim here including possibly the world’s first Trinitarian rap.
There are a number of versions of this online, this is the best quality one I found, I think. Here is another version. And another.
Occasionally, I acknowledge, it is difficult to help people with a service solely by instructions in the Prayer Book’s rubrics. Sometimes it is better to provide a video of the rite, especially in this technological age. I hope, hence, you all find the following video very helpful in implementing this in your worship community. Especially watch the font at 0:55 – a good discussion here would be: how do we implement this part of the rite with inherited smaller fonts? This would be a good clip to use in your community’s worship committee discussion if you are advocating for a larger font to be part of the renewal of your worship space.
H/t @RobinwoodChurch
The secret can finally be revealed: the Easter Bunny is not only Anglican, but actually a primate of the Anglican Communion: Archbishop Martin de Jesus Barahona, primate of the Anglican Church in Central America. h/t Fr Scott Gunn
Thanks to a comment on the Facebook Liturgy Page
From Church Times
More on April Fool
Are you looking for a new password for your church website? I recently cracked the pope’s login for the Vatican website, it is EtCumSpiri220 (for security reasons I won’t reveal his username). One online password-strength checker suggests it is “strong” which must be why it took me quite a while to crack it. Below there are certain other passwords I have cracked. In the comments you can suggest whom they are used by. And also add any others you can think of or have cracked.
- bcp1662 – weak
- acanzp1992 – medium
- anzpbhkmoa1989 – medium
- cw2000 – weak
- filioque1054 – medium
- VocatusAtqueNonVocatusDeusAderit1961 – best
A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”
“Okay” the man says, “I attended church every Sunday”
“That’s good, says St. Peter, ” that’s worth two points”
“Two points?” he says. “Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church”
“Well, let’s see,” answers Peter, “that’s worth another 2 points. Did you do anything else?”
“Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.”
“Fantastic, that’s certainly worth a point, ” he says.
“hmmm…,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.”
“That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, “that’s worth three points!”
“THREE POINTS!!” the man cries, “At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!”
“Come on in!”
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